Biking helped USA Paralympian Freddie De Los Santos with PTSD, and now he sees his incapacity as a blessing

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Editor’s word: The next story consists of mentions of suicidal ideas. In case you or anybody you understand is scuffling with suicidal ideas, the Nationwide Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 and the Veterans Disaster Line is 1-800-273-8255 (press 1), and you may textual content HELLO to 741741 to achieve the Disaster Textual content Line. 

When somebody first prompt doing a marathon to Freddie De Los Santos, he thought they had been making enjoyable of him.

De Los Santos, now 51, was being handled at a army hospital following a rocket assault whereas he was serving in Afghanistan in 2009. Resulting from his accidents, surgeons needed to amputate his proper leg above the knee.

What De Los Santos didn’t know on the time was they had been severe and that he might do it with a handcycle. It was the beginning of a brand new journey from the Dominican Republic-born rider that might lead him to grow to be a part of Crew USA’s Paralympic squad in Tokyo.

“I signed as much as do the marathon with a handcycle and it took me like three hours,” De Los Santos advised VeloNews from the Crew USA resort in Japan. “After the marathon, I couldn’t transfer for 2 weeks and I used to be like, I’ll by no means try this once more. However guess what occurred? The subsequent 12 months I signed up for the Boston Marathon and that’s once I realized, wow, I simply did a marathon and that’s fairly spectacular.”

After that first race, De Los Santos had caught the biking bug and he took half in a number of occasions organized for service members. He additionally began using socially and was ultimately persuaded to compete in a rising variety of occasions.

“I used to be getting sooner and so I began doing like nationwide and native races. And it began to be a part of my rehab after which it grew to become a ardour. After which that zeal grew to become a lifestyle. That journey, that zeal turned out to be knowledgeable profession. It’s bizarre,” he laughed.

In addition to serving to him bodily get well, taking over biking has aided De Los Santos mentally as properly. Being “blown up” in Afghanistan and dropping a limb has had a long-lasting affect on him, as has the lack of a number of of his associates and comrades throughout fight excursions in Afghanistan and Iraq.

When he returned to America for remedy following the incident, he needed to cope with plenty of ache and trauma. Biking has been a means of processing that and changing into an energetic member of his neighborhood in Hopewell Junction, New York.

It has additionally allowed him to see his incapacity not as a limitation however as one thing good.

“Biking has grow to be my coping mechanism to cope with my nervousness, my PTSD. So, that sense, it has given me a brand new lifestyle,” De Los Santos mentioned. “It has been probably the most rewarding expertise to have the ability to compete at this stage, regardless of my incapacity.

“Once I obtained wounded, I used to be very suicidal. I used to be in a hospital for 2 years and I just about needed to learn to speak, stroll, and achieve self-confidence. So, I had plenty of considerations as a result of I remoted myself from all people, I used to be very aggressive. I used to be taking plenty of treatment.

“Twelve years in the past, I used to be going by means of the worst time of my life and now I can say that my incapacity has been a blessing. It sounds humorous, however to me, it has been a blessing as a result of I’ve a unique perspective about life. I’m nearer to God, I’ve a greater relationship with my household, and I’m in one of the best form of my life. Biking has helped me to include myself in society in very constructive methods, socially, mentally, and bodily.”

Turning into an artist and going for gold

Freddie De Los Santos competing at the Invictus Games in 2014
Freddie De Los Santos competing on the Invictus Video games in 2014 (Picture: Jordan Mansfield/Getty Photographs for Invictus Video games)

Biking isn’t the one exercise that De Los Santos has used to maneuver on from probably the most tough interval of his life. Throughout his restoration, he additionally picked up portray and pictures after somebody from the Veterans Affiliation prompt he participate in artwork remedy.

De Los Santos has all the time had a creative facet as he skilled and labored as a graphic designer earlier than becoming a member of the army, however he didn’t wish to do it. He needed to be satisfied to take a category however it has grow to be one other ardour of his and he has used it as a means of displaying his family and friends a few of the emotions he has struggled to say out loud.

“Someway they satisfied me as a result of I didn’t wish to go,” De Los Santos advised VeloNews. “I used to be very suicidal, and I tried suicide just a few occasions, so the artwork remedy was going to be good for me.

“I didn’t wish to inform my household what I used to be going by means of. I felt like I’ve a demon within me and I couldn’t eliminate that demon and I couldn’t speak to my household and my children and my neighborhood. I needed them to know, however I used to be afraid to allow them to know, verbally. So, my portray grew to become a means for me to precise myself. The extra I used to be portray, the higher I used to be feeling.

“I used to be in a position to put all my nightmares, my perception, my frustration, every part I went by means of once I was in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

As time has moved on, De Los Santos’ work have modified of their content material. There may be nonetheless some ache, however different themes are growing. By it, his household has been in a position to perceive what he has been feeling, too.

De Los Santos’ household is an enormous a part of his life and has performed an enormous function in his new profession as knowledgeable athlete.

“They’re so excited,” De Los Santos mentioned. “My spouse is my greatest coach. My son is 22, my daughter is 26 and they’re so pleased with me. They are saying “dad, you might be wonderful”. I don’t see myself like that, however they’re all the time pampering me. They’re all the time combating to take me to the airport, additionally they look out for me. My son works at a motorbike store, the place they repair my bike. So, he’s all the time on high of my gear, ensuring every part’s good.”

The Tokyo Video games are De Los Santos’ second Paralympics after he made his debut on the Rio Paralympics in 2016.

In Brazil, he took fourth within the street race and seventh within the time trial within the H5 class, however he has gained much more expertise since then and he desires much more this time round. He shall be racing the identical occasions in Tokyo on Tuesday and Wednesday subsequent week.

“My purpose is to win gold. I’ve been coaching actually onerous for these races developing,” he mentioned. “My self-confidence is fairly excessive, and my gear has been upgraded. Bodily, mentally, I really feel unbelievable.

“Since Rio, I grew to become extra tactically higher when it comes to racing, I dropped like 25 kilos. So I’m fitter. I had so many World Cups, so I’ve plenty of expertise.”

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